Helpful advice my mom just sent me...

1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.
2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
3. (Men) AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.
4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.
5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
8. REMEMBER - EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.
9. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
10. IF YOU WANT TO SAVE MONEY ON HAIRCUTS, USE "NAIR" IT IS ABOUT HALF THE COST OF A CUT, AND IT WILL LAST FOR SEVERAL MONTHS.

Aren't Mom's great? So wise...

Comments

[Kelly]

April 26? You obviously don't realize how often I come here to find out how to do my job.

[Tim Stevens]

Wow...after a week away from checking blogs, I thought: "I wonder what wisdom Kem Meyer wrote while I was gone? Probably something amazing every single day!"

And then I read this. Your one and only post. Hmmm.

[Rick Suttles]

Sending this to my mom. Haha.

[Justin Moore]

I just read most of these to Bonnie and we both got a good laugh. Thanks for sharing!