Kem Meyer on Less Clutter & Noise

Don’t let discouragement pile up. Guard your heart…

For the past few weeks, I’ve been feeling an extra dose of discouragement. There’s nothing dramatic going down, no crisis or cause for alarm. It was just a convergence of real life happening all around me—people I love with broken hearts, minds, bodies, relationships and lives. It started to pile up and, in my gloom, I inadvertently started to focus on the circumstances and felt very alone.

Then, one day last week, I saw something on my morning walk that flipped the switch back to a productive place. A lone flower, brightly blooming among dirt, gravel and weeds. I felt like it was God’s little metaphor…

“You GO girl! There IS hope—I am with you. Are you with Me?” 

You know, there are times in life when stress and discouragement pile up. Without intentional guardrails, burdens can creep in, take over your soul and define your reality with helplessness, fear and hopelessness.

I'm engaged in the world around me—on purpose. I don't want to lose touch. There is good to be found. Work to be done.

On the flip side, I don't want to be so absorbed I lose my compass.

I’m rearranging my schedule to prioritize these key areas first, and the rest will fall into place.

• Sleep and exercise. Meeting a friend at the gym at 5 AM every day this week will most certainly get me to bed on time at night. It’s a domino effect.
• Focus and flow. A few times a week, I’m going to turn off email for big chunks of time to still my mind and engage on important projects that yield the biggest returns.
• Read and discuss. I’m launching two new book groups, one at home and one at work to keep learning new things with the people I’m doing life with.
• Faith and fuel. I'm listening to extra message podcasts throughout the week and starting each day with a new devotional to keep my engine running undistorted.
• Marriage and family. Pre-scheduling date nights with Mark and family nights with kids.

The action items might look different depending on the season, but that’s the highlights for this reboot. What about you? What does it look like when you rearrange your schedule to flee a rut? Leave a comment ... share your story. At the end of the day, I'll randomly draw a name from all the comments (Congrats to Andy Waggoner! He won the book drawing.) and give away a free copy of Mark Buchanan's new book Spiritual Rhythm.

Daley Hake is coming to town first of June (ish) …

I just heard from the LA rock star who made my Indiana family look like rock stars.

DALEY HAKE is coming to Grand Rapids, MI!

He’ll be there the first week of June (give or take a few days) and I’ve got inside scoop that’s he’s going to be in a shooting mood. You want a booking (personal, professional, family or corporate)? Email Julie direct julie@daleyhake.com to make it happen.

If you’re not familiar with his work, here’s some samples to give you an idea of what he’s made of.

Daley Hake Photography, Los Angeles CA

Trouble leading change? Here’s 5 themes that might help…

“Knowing how people grow, does not mean we know how to grow them.” – Management of the Absurd

If you’re having a hard time getting people to buy into change, it probably has more to do with bad relational navigation than it does the change itself. If we focus on the WHO more than the HOW-TO, the rest of the pieces will more easily fall into place.

When I feel stuck in the mud and frustrated with lack of progress, here’s five themes I revisit to see what I need to adjust in my efforts. Many times, I find what’s blocking the transformation in others—is me. And, it’s usually because I’m neglecting one of these areas.

1. SERVE
   The best leadership model is servant based - where authority doesn't come from outside sources, but from an internal power. Transformational leadership doesn’t doesn’t come from title, position, tenure or finances—but from a moral authority that is expressed in a way of serving others.
• What does it look like? by Rob Wegner (10 minutes)
• The most powerful person in the room. by Andy Stanley (18 minutes)
2. SPACE
   Give people the space to do what only they can do. Tell them what needs to be done and give them room to figure out how to do it.
• “You want to create a culture for innovation? Give your staff freedom and flexibility in their area. And, be willing to back up failures. If you don't; they'll never try again.” Michael Lindsay, sociologist and author
3. STUPID
   Many times, people just don’t know it’s ok to have fun at work. Are you giving them permission to laugh, blow off some steam and get loud on occasion? Are you participating in the fun? One way to cultivate creativity and inspire productivity is to create outlets for diversion. 
• Don’t be boring. by Fast Company
• Top 10 Benefits of Play. by the Creativity Portal
  
4. STORIES
   We tend to conform to the behavior of the people around us. We tell stories, we share stories and we are changed by stories. Positivity is contagious. At times, you need to forego the performance review system, the rewards packages and the training programs and create experiences that get people talking.
• Peer pressure is the key to change. by the Harvard Business Review
5. SWITCH
   Instead of trying to find answers to the question “why doesn’t he get it…” or “why won’t she change…” the question we should be asking is “what hurdles are making it hard for people to do their job…” or “do I have all the information to make a judgment here?” Switch your focus, seek the perspective of others. Switch your workday, seek interactions that come with a different flow.
• What I’ve learned from my mistakes. 
• Why it’s important to stop what you’re doing and look around.

Reaching the next gen without leaving the last gen behind …

Last week, I spent a full day with 12 leaders from TX, IL, PA, IA, LA, SC, NY, GA, MO and VA. We devoted an entire day to the topic of why transformation efforts fail—it all boils down to people. And, as you know, people are a strange bunch. So, it’s tricky. We wrestled with this truth:

Is your goal to get the most out of people or the best out of people? You typically can’t get both.

Jonathan Falwell joined us via Skype for about an hour to share about his change experiences at Thomas Road Baptist Church. It was the highlight of the day. He challenged, encouraged and enlightened us with a humble spirit and bold responsibility. Here’s a summary of a portion of his response to this question:

What does that look like when you have the authority to make change and when you don’t—when you’re under-powered and high-powered ?

• Great ideas don’t generate automatic adoption. Don’t try to force change without managing it.
• Cast vision over and over (and over) to give people the opportunity to warm up to change before implementing it.
• Ask yourself, do I have a willingness to start anew, or do I just want to stick with what I know or makes me most comfortable? I can’t ask people to change unless I’m open to change in my own life as well.
• Communicate the WORTH of the chaos you are about to create with any change. Don’t miss this step. It’s crucial.
• I can’t bring people into the story on my own, with clever marketing or additional programming. That’s a ridiculous objective. I can, however, create the environments that make it easy for people to reach people in their need—even if it’s not my need.
• There is just as much value in the past as there is in the future. We have to stand in the gap and reach both ways.
• Don’t chart a course without taking into consideration the gift set God has put around your table. Your methodology should take the unique DNA of your team into account.
• Keep it simple—look outside yourself and focus your heart and efforts on the people on the other side of any change—the rest will fall into place.

Crowdsourcing – it’s what’s for dinner…

The purpose of this post is not to advocate crowdsourcing. If you’re not already hip to that game, read this little book to catch up. This purpose of this post is stretch the concept outside the software, business, ministry and smart-mob genres. How many of you crowdsource your family or marriage time?

• Two years ago, Mark crowdsourced my 40th birthday celebration.
• Last year we crowdsourced our Spring Break. It was not just a major family highlight from last year, but it was one of our best vacations EVER.
• We regularly crowdsource theme ideas for Meyer Family Nights and movie and restaurant reviews for date nights.
• Last night, we crowdsourced pet names for Emmi’s new dwarf frogs. What fun. For your enjoyment, here’s some of the suggestions that came in:
• @DaleShafer: @kemmeyer late submissions: iToad, iPhibian, PRINCE ;-)
• @mattberes: @kemmeyer Salt n' Peppa. I'm guessing you have some flava.
• @jessicamast: @kemmeyer How about Mickey and Minnie? We just got back from Disney. Still under the influence...
• @stephlancione: @kemmeyer I've always been partial to Milo and Otis :)
• @DaveMast: @kemmeyer For real? You know who they are! You watched The Muppet Show, right? http://ow.ly/18uPf
• @jstnhpkns: I second that ! // @kemmeyer if you watch scrubs you can name them jd and turk! /via @pistol62
• @pistol62: @kemmeyer if you watch scrubs you can name them jd and turk!
• @pistol62: @kemmeyer my wife just got hers and she named them steve and ifrog. steve as in steve jobs. hehe
• @GodMedia: @kemmeyer Name the frogs Twitter and Facebook.
• @tammyburns: @kemmeyer also love the names Fred and Barney, Cosmo and Wanda, Homer and Marge, Romeo and Juliet...you see where I am going
• @tammyburns: @kemmeyer Frog and Toad! How about you?
• @L_YO1979: @kemmeyer lenny and squiggy.
• @tishaDR: @kemmeyer Am glad ur lil' girl is soo not a "girly-girl" who squirms and screams at the sight of frogs. How about Kermit & LeFrog?
• @bfarley90: @kemmeyer flippy & skippy.
• @nlamarre: @kemmeyer The first thing that came to mind was something my grandma called my sis & cuz: Fric & Frac :)
• @pinkhairedgirl: @kemmeyer // "Ribb" and "Ett"
• @DaveMast: @kemmeyer Statler and Waldorf?
• @stevedavis1: @kemmeyer My daughter named one of ours Pee Wee Sherman (ref to both Playhouse & Finding Nemo)
• @tammyburns: @kemmeyer My son just got some of the same buddies yesterday!
• @vinthomas: @kemmeyer Floaty and Sinker.
• Lisa Shaffer DeSelm I think Pete the Frog and Repeat the Frog are real winners.
• Rochelle McAvoy did NO ONE mention Kermit? if that's too typical, you can always go for another muppet, like Gonzo or Ralph. Fact: frog's don't take things seriously, so they shouldn't get serious names. :p
• Susan Andres Pete and Repeat! My 25-year-old daughter was just telling her boyfriend that joke the other day. He'd never heard it.

(FYI… Emmi is leaning towards iHop and iSwim, but the final decision hasn’t been made yet.)

Friends, I’m telling you this is THE WAY to collaborate, brainstorm and bring out the best in different communities. Social media is the global neighborhood.

Mark the moment ...

I found some old family night photos from last year. They made me smile. We still do family nights, we just haven’t been as intentional about our themes or photos. I’m motivated to ramp those up again. Last night we had Gpops & Gbunny over for a Wii party, but I don’t have the pictures to prove it ever happened. MARK THE MOMENT!

   

   

                 

Workshops & classes for Michiana writers ...

I was invited to speak to a group of young authors this summer about my experience writing a book. It was intimidating. Look at these kids! They're the over-achieving, well-behaved, honor society, valedictorian-bound, talented group of scholars.

    

For the record...that's NOT the kind of kid I was in school. You see, I had trouble in school. I couldn’t sit still. I had trouble focusing. (Still do, actually.) Most teachers, and the other students, assumed I didn’t care or that I was a nuisance. Well, I may have been a nuisance, but it wasn’t because I didn’t care. It’s just that no one had ever taught me how to channel my hyper-energy and hyper-thoughts. I was told to sit still and be quiet. IMPOSSIBLE!

It wasn’t until I was in my late thirties I discovered writing as an outlet. It slowed me down, focused my energy and helped me express myself more productively. I just wish I had known then, what I know now.

Next Thursday, I get another chance to lead a workshop for young authors. And, here’s why I’m super excited about it. This workshop isn’t just for the superstar kids, it’s also for the kids who don’t know they’re superstars yet. I get to share the encouragement and tools I wish I had then with these students now. Here’s the scoop:

Passionate Pursuits (ages 8-12) 
    Find your genius & express yourself. Unconventional ideas for undiscovered
    talent (whether you think you’re a writer or not).
Thursday, January 21, 4:30-6:00 PM
Firehouse Youth Center, Classroom 6
Cost: $20

So spread the word about my workshop and check out the other workshops for young authors, teens and adults.

• Michiana Writers Center Winter 2010 Schedule
• Registration Form

4 Eagle Ranch is one of the best kept secrets in America…

This is Tom Backhus, owner of 4 Eagle Ranch. He used to coach college football. Even coached at Notre Dame for a year (offensive line coach). The dude (pun intended) has really created something special. We made a trek to Colorado last year (for SPRING BREAK of all things) and spent the evening at his ranch.  I highly recommend it... something for everyone, exceeds expectations, hospitality extraordinaire, food to die for, fuels you in ways you didn't realize you needed. It was one of our highlights of 2009…

       

     

Holiday break…

 

I’m taking a blogging break until January. But, I’m not going dark. Ongoing online conversations are still happening in shorter bursts.

Merry Christmas!

Two statements that cultivate success…

In this world we all live in, it’s counter-cultural to assume the best in others. It’s almost unheard of to help others succeed if you have nothing to gain from their success. People tend to get caught up in their own task list, insecurities and desires and can’t see the forest through the trees. Every human being has this tendency.

The first time I acknowledged this in myself (with any intentionality) was in 2002 when I read Tim Sander’s book, Love is the Killer App. For me, reading that book was like Extreme Makeover: Mindset Edition.

If you haven’t read it yet, allow me to encourage you to do so. It’s an exponential value-add to society.

And, if you don’t have time to tackle the book right now, I’ve got something to get you started. I read two posts this morning that reinforce two all too-often overlooked ingredients for personal AND organizational success.

1. I trust you.
2. I’ve got your back.